love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize