I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
