he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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