A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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