My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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