mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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