i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize