hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
