the new term for farting is butt boxing.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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