I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Randomize
