I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
