So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
