im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
