someone threw a dead crab at me
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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