id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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