Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You have to summon your inner elephant
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
