I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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