is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize