"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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