Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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