worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
