a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I can't turn off my feet"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
3 2 1 whiskey
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
