just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
