What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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