Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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