May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
