I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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