I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
