At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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