Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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