Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
