She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
