Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
