Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
