you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
