Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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