I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
