I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
