So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
