The maid of honor just puked.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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