I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
And my parents said I crawled through the house
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
