i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I think im going to throw up on grandma
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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