we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
