She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
