New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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