she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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