so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
