yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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