wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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