Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
