I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
