Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
