You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize