Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
just tell him i said nine months
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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