Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
love makes seman taste better
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Drunk is not a location!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
