WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Green mimosas i think yes
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
