The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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