Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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