I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My life is pants optional.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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