i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
