that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Randomize
