Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
