yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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