we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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