Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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